RULES OF CONDUCT

To the Ladies of the Senior Service the following rules of conduct are offered:-

(1) Punctuality will be considered one of the hall-marks of the "Wren." To the far-seeing child of the next generation, the question, "What time did you start work in the Great War, Mammy?" Allowances, naturally, are always made for tram strikes, overcrowding and continual breakdowns on the railway. The attempts of some facetious youths who have been known to put on the office clock half an hour in order to lead the early "bird" into thinking that she is late, will be met with strong disapproval. Such quips have a bad effect upon the punctual lady, and are sometimes fatal to the truly late comer.

(2) Energy is an essential. Energy, kept within limits, is a universal benefactor. Energy, broken loose, is a "bad master." The "complete Wren" will no doubt accumulate the former kind and energy will be found applicable to the whole of the routine. The vim with which she buckles into the correspondence, the ardour with which she tackles the "sheets," the ambition she displays to keep the ledger or the log book neat and clean may be noticed in the "Wren" who is able to apportion her energy. But, on the other hand, the "fed-up" attitude which results in that violent thumping of the date-stamp, that hurling of check-sheets, and the ledger. Don't rub out - cross it off neatly and initial it, and always bear in mind that Wednesday evenings are reserved for physical drill!

(3) Affability will be expected from all "Wrens." Your "oppo," dear lady, like other little things has been sent to try you, and, alas! That some of you should have to bear the burden of a married "oppo." It is to be feared that domestic worries are not always left behind him when he turns up for duty. So now and again, when you find him bearish, show him the affable side of you nature. It will not fail to charm him and bring him to his senses and to the exercise of his good manners. You may see that he is hunting for the alphabetical list. Perhaps he will want to know where it is, and you will get the question flung at you in its varying forms: (Imperiously), "Now then, oppo, where's that alphabetical?" or (peevishly), "You've pinched that alphabetical again!" and yet once more (rudely), "It's high time you finished with my alphabetical!" Now, mark you, he could say: "If you know its whereabouts, would it be presuming too much upon your goodness to pass me, at your leisure, dear Miss --, the alphabetical index book?" but he doesn't (you would probably be too overcome to pass it if he did!) But instead of treating his blunt questions with the indifference they deserve, in place of a disdainly toss of the head and an aristocratic sniff, look around with that knowing look that you can put on, you will probably find the book under his very nose, and you will then proffer it to him with a winning smile. Good will is thus restored once more.

(4) Industry is another necessary qualification. Reviewing events, we find this: She has arrived punctually displaying great energy in getting down to work; she has shot a few gleams of sunshine round about her, and now she is going to be really industrious. But consider for a while the interruptions to which she is subject. In the left-hand corner of the room we have an absorbing dissertation on the war position. The Daily Mail is being closely studied in conjunction with the Dispatch. There is little fear of this meeting becoming unruly, as all the participants generally find that each morning brings them some fresh little surprise-packet from the Ministry - an immediate rise of £2.l0s., or an increase in V.A., so that things will be calm enough until one of their number ventures the sagacious remark that Germany has not yet retired out of Belgium, and that Austria has not caved in. The others, feeling the indisputable logic of the spokesman's remarks, decide to leave the war at that, and the patient "Wren" takes the preliminary dip into the ink.

We offer these four golden rules to the striving "Wren," being well assured that, like her feathered prototype in the fable, she will outstrip all in her soaring to the dizzy heights of fame.